Saturday, June 9, 2012

My Brain is all wierd n' stuff

My Brain is all weird n' stuff.

girl, portrait, antlers, digital painting
 Corel Painter 12. Scratchboard tool. That is the only tool i have used for this painting so far. I like the weirdness of it, the abstract geometrical shapes. I used blue and green as bases and started painting directly on top of them all on one layer. I also did not sketch this one out so I'm feeling pretty good about it. That being said I am going to ruin it now by experimenting with more brushes. I watched a webinar corel made for the internet. Finding good Corel tutorials is like trying to find you own prostate... it's a pain in the ass.  So now I feel the need to fuck every thing up. 

I have been feeling palpitant as of late. Due my own psyche. I look in the mirror and see this weird creature full of uncanny habits and tendencies. The thing is I'm just weird and my mind wanders, gets lost, and then goes crazy. I have to let loose the weird creature within or I might spontaneously combust. All of my life people have treated this creature like a fear or a leper... perhaps a leprechaun that they are afraid of. As I sat here pondering I came to realize it is not just me in all of our youth we are told we need to fit in, we need to comply, we should conform it is for the better.
But this belief is bullshit.
We should look for greater fulfillment within our lives, and we can do that through being who we really are, and pursuing the things that interest us, even if that shit is weird.
I used to think that creating would somehow keep my weirdness in check. Well, it happens that all my painting, storytelling, and pursuits in music have just been enabling me.
I have grown up, we have grown up and yet there is still this concept embedded within our psyches and even physical representations with our culture that strongly suggest that we should keep our eye to the ground, fit in; do not stand out, do not think, do not open the windows and crawl out of the cube that confines you. But, I have learned something all my experiences these wonderful experiences, the terrific people, the love that surrounds me (perhaps a little too hippie-ish?). Is only there, because I am who I am, and I am weird.

So, no matter what you enjoy doing, whatever makes you unique, this is an expression of your inner weirdness. So go forth spread the weirdness, reign supreme and maybe the world will be a better place.

Or don't and then we can all be like people in North Dakota...


  1. You Are a beautiful beautifully weird creature tipsy and I love you....its rare to find similar weirdos, rare in my world...i'm glad I know you....Melanie Taylor

  2. F-yeah! Lol, thank you we wierdos gotta stick together!

  3. Damn dude everybody should read that its pretty deep.